Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Huimei is in a mood.. whereby she doesn't knows wad she is thinking.... everything is crowding her mind... this and that... she can't stable herself....

I wanna free my life from all the stress... currently... i just want to be with music... being with my fav. band... the band tat brought great memories to me....

sometimes i think, wad have i done in band... why was i appointed Band Major at the age of 14... wad did the instructor sees in me... more qns came up... did i really deserve it... have a done wad i should do... WAS I REALLY CAPABLE.. maybe i need a work review... cos i dunno wad i done is right or not... the way i handle is correct or not.... if i'm wrong.. dun let me wrong foreva...

so many worries on my mind... mostly are useless ones... tats one thing abt me... i need support and encouragement... i am a weak person actually... i need someone to stand by me.. believe in me... i am so tired... so many things undone... but i dunno where to start...

I am confused... getting lots of hints all the time... but dunno how to interpret them.... sigh... i want to put everything down... JC POLY... i dun care now... I want to play music... let me vent my anger... my confusion... as i said before, i may appear strong... but actually i am weak inside... i cannot be alone... sigh... i still hvnt discover my true self afterall... need to do more soul-searching... set my piorities...

sigh... i guess i was writting rubbish up there... just wanna trash everything out... cannot keep anymore... why am i so weak... sigh sigh sigh....
got a rough plan in my mind after i get my results.... apply for my future studies.... maybe go on a holiday for a while... know when are the sectional dates of Saxophone, F.horn and someother sections that needs help... hopefully i can help them... at the same time learn... wanna pick up the F.horn... BUT! i will not put down my saxophone... really love the sound the F.horn produced and i wanna help the section badly cos of they got no one to coach them... see them struggling so hard... the least i can do is help them with simple stuff... sigh.. tats another problem with me... i put others before myself... put band before myself, families and frens.... CONFUSED!!!

sigh sigh... i need to talk to someone to talk me out of my confusion... i suddenly felt lost... not moving forward nor backward... i am lost... so lost... it is a sudden feeling... and it is bad!..

*guess i am crapping again... cannot think properly... in a state of confusion... sigh sigh sigh*

*Pcss Band
*MeLissA[Cousin]
*EzaLiNe
*HuiWen
*Ng Xinyi
*RoNia
*SAndrA
*SZe SiNg
*SopHian
*ChOOn wEi[Band]
*CriStaBel[Band]
*JoAnnA[Band]
*JesSicA[Band]
*KeLly[Band]
*NinA[Band]
*PeiJun[Band]
*WanLing[Band]
*WeiHsin[Band]
*WinnieFer[Band]
*ZiyAng[Band]
*Goh YiMei[NCO Fren]
*Wei Liang[SRJC Fren]
*Yi Ling[SRJC Fren]
*Joline[SRJC Fren]
*Irene Pua[SWS Fren]