Sunday, May 29, 2005

Sigh... lots of things happened the past few weeks.. i'll just briefly update... might pour out some stuff... as i am typing now.. my heart feels heavy... lets first re-cap to where i last blogged.

9/5/05-14/5/05
visited the band for their band practice... do abit of stuff for my school. getting ready and stuff.. slacking abit here and there...

17-20 may
went for arts camp which was awesome... one of the coolest camp i eva been too... actually.. all camps i went to are fun.. cos i made new friends.. hehee nice seniors they have.. sweet ppl.. and meet new friends who are interested in arts.
*Arts camp OI~!*

24 may-27 may
First day of school... couldn't find my block.. look ard in circus... then found it... so was late for lesson... cls ppl are okie... lecturers were okie too... just me tat feels restless in cls.. hvnt get out of my holiday mood... trying hard to focus... whole class all males... find it kinda hard to get along.. but again i'll try to make friends.. so i will not be so lonely in cls...
in Np whereva i hang out with a group of ppl... they are all males, my clsmates... my sec school friends... all male lor.. not saying it is not good.. but too much guys ard also very stressful.

28th may
woke up at 6.15am... and went out at 7... help sir with a workshop at YMS... nice place.. first time there... yeap... went ard in the afternoon...got to know a new friend.. siew fong.. if tats how it is spelt... had band practice at night... i was totally lost... i couldn't play a piece... i want to improve badly...

tml got youth band again... i am going to tell the section leader... it is either half-concert or dun play... it is not i am tat good.. till i can bargain... i just dun want to go on tat stage and drag the band down... i know how disasterous it can be if someone... all it takes is 1 person to make a mistake... a totally awful sound. i really dun mind playing half-concert or dun play at all... it is not becos i want to run away from practising those pieces... i will practice... but time is not enough... i'm not running away from responsibilities.... i dun want to embarrasse myself on stage... and the more i dun want to be an instrument holder... lets see wad answer i get...

i am taught to enjoy while playing music... but looks like now.. i am very stressed up... hate myself... my basics all cock-up... my breathing, embourche... i played saxophone for 4 years! and yet all i can play is liketat... i want to improve badly... i want to enjoy playing music...enjoy playing my saxophone... but now... i can't... sigh... my confidence level went all the way down... i panic every piece... i shiver... i darn not play... i got lost in the music everytime... i am worried... got to calm myself down... but... how?

lots of problems to solve... will be facing alot more difficult challenges ahead... wonder how am i going to face it.... sigh.. nitez all

*Pcss Band
*MeLissA[Cousin]
*EzaLiNe
*HuiWen
*Ng Xinyi
*RoNia
*SAndrA
*SZe SiNg
*SopHian
*ChOOn wEi[Band]
*CriStaBel[Band]
*JoAnnA[Band]
*JesSicA[Band]
*KeLly[Band]
*NinA[Band]
*PeiJun[Band]
*WanLing[Band]
*WeiHsin[Band]
*WinnieFer[Band]
*ZiyAng[Band]
*Goh YiMei[NCO Fren]
*Wei Liang[SRJC Fren]
*Yi Ling[SRJC Fren]
*Joline[SRJC Fren]
*Irene Pua[SWS Fren]